It's hard to believe that it's already been a year since I came off my maternity leave to my work from home job, but here we are! This last year has definitely had some ups and downs, but it has also been the best year of my life! I never could have imagined the love and joy Pumpkin would bring to my life. That said, working 40 hours a week while caring for a baby definitely is not a walk in the park. It is definitely doable...but it takes some serious effort and time.
Every work from home mom will tell you something different, but here are the top tips to how we are able to make working from home with a baby work:
1. Working full time hours takes time. Lots and lots of time. In my experience a straight 8 hour day with a 30 minute lunch somewhere in there simply does not work with taking care of a baby. When I went back to work at 10 weeks it took me 12+ hours to work 9 hours. I wish I could say that things have improved since then but I am still pretty much working all day long (Pumpkin is almost 14 months old). I did briefly try working straight days but my productivity at work fell to beyond stressful levels, Pumpkin was having growing problems and I truly think part of it was my trying to feed her meals while I worked instead of sitting her down and feeding her a meal, and frankly Punpkin was all over me most of the day for attention. When she saw me going to the chair she would grab my leg and cry. It was just too long of a stretch for her.
2. Get used to not sleeping much. To this day I go off of less than 6 hours of sleep a night. To put it simply, my most productive time at work remains as the times during which Pumpkin is asleep. My day starts at 2:30 am.
3. Experiment with how many hours per day work best for you and be open to change. When Pumpkin was a little baby I liked to do 4-9 hr days and a 4 hr day. Adding the extra hour a day I barely even noticed the added work, yet on Fridays I definitely noticed the shortened day. It gave me the opportunity to really enjoy being a mommy to Pumpkin. Now that Pumpkin is older and awake more often and more interested in stuff I like to do 11 hours mon-wed (something like 2:30a to 1 hour after Pumpkin wakes up at 7:30 ish; from the time Pumpkin goes down for a nap to 1 hour after she wakes up; and then I finish up my hours starting 1 hour before hubby comes home until I hit 11 hours. All in all Pumpkin only has to entertain herself for 3 hours a day then she gets a lot of mommy time Thursday to Sunday.) and 7 hours Thursday. This enables us to do things like story time or other field trips on Thursday and Friday.
4. Invest in high quality toys and lots of variety. Toys can be a real life saver! I recommend a lot of different types-blocks to dolls to stuffed animals to electronic. We even have a few apps on my phone for her. Without good toys she would not entertain herself at all. Buy enough that you can rotate the toys around. When she gets tired of her toys, take them away and bring out the old toys. It will be just like if you got her a new toy as she explores them with her ever growing skills.
5. You are not a stay at home mom, but everyone will think you are. Since you are "home all day" a lot of people will think your life is a LOT different than it is. Some have even told me that I don't really need a maternity leave since I am already at home (clearly they have forgotten how much care a newborn requires). Others will wonder why doing xyz is such a big deal or not get why you are so stressed out. It's ok. They don't HAVE to get it. I tend to take the less confrontational route and just shrug it off. No matter what others may say, I know I am working 2 full time jobs simultaneously. That's an accomplishment!
6. You will work harder than you have ever worked in your life and not excel at anything. At work, my productivity is just enough to get by. As a parent my baby is fed, clean, and clothed. I do my best to throw in a few stories and a game or two, but some days-clean, fed and clothed is about all I manage to sneak in. My dogs have not been walked in over a year. I have not lost my post partum weight-I have no time to exercise or to cook decently. Mostly I grab whatever is fast and easy. When it's nice out I might manage a quick walk. Sometimes I have to send my step daughter to the bus stop on her own because all hell has broken loose or I really need to get my productivity at work up or Pumpkin is still asleep and if I wake her I will REALLY be screwed (as if my job isn't hard enough, let's make the baby cranky all day long). And the housework-I clean and the next day you would hardly be able to tell, but it will have to do until next week. If I were getting grades I would probably be getting straight c's. But straight c's are enough. The family is healthy, happy and mostly thriving.
7. Schedule some time for you. You need it. In the beginning days I insosted on a half an hour a night for my shower. Now I stay up an hour after I put Pumpkin to sleep. Do I need the sleep? Yeah, sure I do, but if I don't have at least some time to take a deep breath and relax...I don't know what would happen, but I know it wouldn't be good.
8. Be prepared for mental breakdowns. Even if you schedule "you" time, they are going to happen. I just recently had one. I cried for almost a whole day last week. That's the thing about working your but off for the absolute bare minimum results-you feel like you are just barely holding everything together, so when that one thread gets strained a little too far you REALLY feel the pressure. Talk to someone. There might be absolutely no good solution to the problem, but my friend I went to said this "even if you do nothing, know that (stepdaughter) and (daughter) will both grow to admire you." It may not have solved everything, but it helped me to breathe. I'm doing ok!
9. Get out of the house. A work out of the house mom gets out to commute to work. A stay at home mom has errands. A work at home mom is in a position where it would be sooo easy to just stay in. But the fresh air is good for both you and baby. So instead of becoming a prisoner I. Your own home, get out of the house. Find a local story time at the library, go out to eat, run to the bank or store. It doesn't matter what you do, just get yourself out there.
10. It DOES eventually get easier. I worked from home for about 2 years before I gave birth to Pumpkin and during that time I was caring for my 5 year old step daughter. Even in the summer that WAS a walk in the park. I hypothesize that it gets easier after potty training ;)
And that's how we survived our first year. It wasn't easy. I'm flat out exhausted, but it is totally 100% worth it everytime I see my baby girl smile, hear her laugh, or see her discover something new. if given a choice between working outside the home or working from home, working from home will
win hands down every time (likewise stay at home mom would beat work from home mom everytime but that's besides the point). With a lot of effort, time and commitment, anyone can make a work from home schedule work with a baby. Just hang in there and remember it will not be this hard forever.
