As a first time mom it was easy to go into a baby store and want to buy everything. From Pumpkin's first year, here are the best and worst of what we purchased.
Top 5 Best Items:
5-High Chair-our high chair got a lot of use (especially when we first started solids) and still gets used today. It is a hundred times easier to feed a baby in a high chair than it is on your lap.
4-Baby Swing-the baby swing was an awesome tool to help me get stuff done while Pumpkin transitioned to not always sleeping on mommy. Our baby swing had a very nice vibrate feature to it also. We think Pumpkin had a bit of reflex as if she laid flat for too long she would projectile vomit, but the baby swing was at an angle so it made for a happy baby and a productive mommy.
3-Infant Bucket Car Seat-the bucket car seat is the way to go for the first year. A convertible car seat might save you money in the long run since you will only need to buy one car seat, but it does not snap out of a base, but the bucket car seat does. The bucket seat was amazing for those times when Pumkin fell asleep in the car, as it enables us to move her without waking her (sometimes).
2-Infant Baby Carriers-my daughter was one that hates her car seat as a newborn, so my ring sling and mei tai were quite the life savers. Even once she adapted to tolerating her car seat, then liking it, I have consistently found uses for baby carriers. They have enabled us to have many enjoyable shopping trips, restaraunt visits, walks, and has made certain chores much easier (like laundry-I could wear my daughter while I gathered the laundry upstairs instead of having to juggle trying to carry her in one arm and two hampers in the other).
1-Pack-n-play with a changing table-from her newborn days through present day, there is not a day that we don't use the pack-n-play. We keep it in the family room and use it for pretty much every diaper change. The high edges of the changing table help keep our "mover" baby in one place long enough for a quick change. Meanwhile the pack-n-play portion has become our baby supply shelf. My daughter doesn't like to be confined so we never bothered removing rhe bassinet. Instead it holds all of our diapering supplies, some toys for entertaining Pumpkin during a change and whatever else we end up throwing in it. Unlike a standard shelf, no one can see the mess except for the person changing the diaper, so it helps in keeping the rest of the house tidy. While this may be an item that I could learn to live without, it's number 1 because I don't WANT to learn to live without it. Being a new mom, I deserve at least one true convenience item ;)
Top 5 Worst Items:
5-Car Seat winter cover-this one needs some explaining. It is not that all car seat winter covers are bad-just the one we bought. In true new mom fashion I went for cuteness over functional. We chose a cute teddy bear cover and it is pretty thin. I always wound up stuffing the car seat with blankets to make up for the fact that the cover was pretty much all show. If I could do it all over I would opt for a plain, THICK, warm, blanket looking cover.
4-Nursing Cover-I used this a handful of times and hated it and I suspect Pumpkin wasn't a big fan either. When we did use it, it is hard to see to latch Pumpkin on. When I did get her to latch she would constantly unlatch, and we just never were able to get comfortable. We both much preferred to leave the room and nurse.
3-Cart Cover-we used this about twice because it was cute and I wanted to. Here is the thing about a cart cover-your baby isn't going to be sitting in a cart to use it until she can sit on her own. Your baby MIGHT be starting to do this at 6 months, but really we are talking more like 7 to 8 months old. At that point I was more concerned about slowly building up her immune system than sheltering her from every germ out there. Usually if she is sick already I would wear her and avoid the cart altogether, or healthy I would use the wipes located by the carts in most stores and give the cart a quick wipe down.
2-Diaper Genie-we used this until it got filled up. This was that garbage we always forgot about until I went to put a diaper in and there was no room. Quite honestly, I was so busy as a new mom that it was easier and faster to just throw it in a different garbage and move on. Then I would get caught up doing whatever was next that I would totally forget about empting it again. They look great on paper, but a standard garbage that everyone is already used to taking out regularly is much more convenient.
1-UV scanner germ killer thing-a-ma-bob-I admit I don't remember the exact name, but if you see it in a store you'lol know what I'm talking about. We bought one of these because it would be cool to keep baby in a bubble like that, and we put it right in the diaper bag, ready to go. Well for the first few months Pumpkin wasn't really interested in grabbing at everything in sight, by the time she was 1-she was old enough to not need sheltered from every germ on the planet and 2-I had totally forgot about it. One day she was trying to teeth on a table and I remembered it, went to get it out and the battery was dead. We did not use the product once, our baby girl is just fine, and we did not feel like we were missing anything.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Friday, December 19, 2014
Our Infertility Battle
I just finished putting my beautiful baby girl to bed. She's over a year old now and there still is not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for being blessed with her-and we've had our share of not so easy days. But no matter what I go through with her, nothing is more difficult than infertility. Infertility was by far the most difficult obstacle I've ever had to overcome, and it still gives me pains today. That, however, is a story for another day. Today I would just like to share our battle-from start to finish (and by finish I mean the conception of Pumpkin-we still are unsure if we will experience infertility if we try for a second child).
It all really started for us about 3 and a half years ago. I was 22. My husband-or at the time my boyfriend-and I had just moved into our second apartment together with his daughter from his first marriage, my insurance at my new job had just kicked in, and we were ready to have an "ours" baby. It was all very exciting. Only one problem-my cycles have always been pretty screwed up. My shortest unmedicated cycle is 6 weeks long and haveing a 3 month cycle really isn't all that unusual for me. Before deciding to try for a baby, this was the best cycle ever-especially since I also have pretty light bleeding that ends fairly quickly. I absolutely loved my cycles as a teenager. But now that I actually needed my cycles to work properly it was aweful. We tried for a few cycles before I decided to see a doctor. Normally they say you should try at least a year "unless there is a reason to suspect" something is wrong, and I knew something was.
Since I only wanted to try and fix my cycles and wasn't asking for fertility treatments, my doctor was very willing to do some bloodwork on me the very day I went in. The first tests were to check my hormone levels. As it would turn out, my hormone levels were totally normal. Ironically, when you go through this process and you actually suspect something is wrong "normal" is the exact opposite of what you want to hear. If they don't know what is wrong, they can't treat it. At this point I was referred to an ob-gyn. My new ob-gyn got me in for a new patient visit and we discussed my issues and scheduled yet another appointment. This time I needed an ultrasound to check that the lining of my uterus was neither too thick or too thin and to make sure everything looked normal. Aside from my having a tilted uterus-which apparently has no effect on fertility-all was once again normal. Naturally I had to set another appointment just to go over the results of the ultrasound. Altogether, this much of the testing phase of infertility took around 4-6 months, so if you suspect something is wrong, I highly recommend getting the testing phase of things done ASAP.
Since we could find no explanation for why my cycles were crazy or for why I was not yet pregnant, my doctor ordered a semen analysis on my hubby and prescribed clomid for me to start after we verified my husband had good swimmers. This was very exciting because we were finally actually doing something that would give us a real chance every month. Unfortunately the first dose of clomid did not work. I was prescribed a medicine to induce my period and even that almost didn't work. Since my period was so reluctant to show I got referred straight to a fertility specialist. I think getting referred to a specialist was the first time I actually cried about my situation. I knew it was silly-who better to help us get pregnant than a guy who's entire job is getting couples pregnant? But getting referred to a specialist also made it very real-I REALLY a had a problem now. Something that is supposed to be so natural and easy and a birthright, and I had to go to a specialist to make it happen.
After I got my cry out and went to my specialist, I was excited. My specialist was very awesome. For the first time a doctor sat me down and really laid out the game plan in the long run, whereas everyone wlse just explained this step right now. I left from my initial consultation feeling a renewed sense of hope! My clomid prescrition for increased to 100 mg and it actually worked. I was finally ovulating in a normal timeframe! I just "knew" that this would be it for us. Unfortunately, we did not get pregnant on that cycle or the next. My fertility specialist decided to go ahead and order the HSG test.
An HSG test is where they use a vaginal catheter to inject a dye into your uterus to check that your Fallopian tubes are not blocked. One thing that I really liked about my doctor is he FIRST made sure I was ovulating before we did the test. Some doctors will do it at the beginning to get it over with, but I feel the other way-my doctor's way- is a better way. Why? Because a lot of people are able to get pregnant after the hsg. The dye they use has a side effect of really making sure your tubes are clean. If I had it done on a cycle where I did not ovulate that would be throwing away this bonus perk of a rather pricy fertility test! Why waste the perk?
I think of all the tests I went through, the HSG was the scariest test. All the other ones were very non invasive, and I while I have no fear of needles, I AM afraid of catheters. To add to it, my husband was not allowed to come back with me. They didn't want to expose anyone to radiation unnecessarily. The test actually was not as bad as I had thought it would be though. There was a moment of pain when the catheter needed to be adjusted and it just was not pleasant, but aside from that it was relatively pain free. Afterwards I was once again excited-my tubes were totally clear, and we were continuing clomid so I was going to ovulate. Surely the added fertility from the HSG would be enough. As fate would have it, it still was not meant to be.
It was around this time that my husband and I got married. Somehow, during this stage of my life everything and anything somehow related back to my fertility, so I thought for sure that maybe God just wanted me to get married and do things "right." Once we are married I thought for sure God would bless us with a baby. Eventually he did, but it was several months later.
Meanwhile hubby and I moved up in the world of fertility treatments to clomid with and IUI and timed intercourse. We did 3 cycles like this and still got nowhere. It was time for us to consider the more expensive treatment options. Clomid clearly was not working for us. The next step was a powerful drug called gonadotropins and withe hat we could either do just times intercourse or continue doing IUI's in addition. If those didn't work our options would be IVF or adoption.
We had a very serious talk and decided the best course for our family was to take a month off while we had our honeymoon (we had our honeymoon a couple months after the wedding) and come back to a cycle of follistim (there are 3 brands of gonadotropin and follistim is one of them) and an IUI with timed intercourse. If that didn't work, we decided that we could not keep throwing money fruitlessly at treatments. We also could not afford to do IVF THEN adoption-it would be one or the other.
We went on our honeymoon, came back and started our follistim cycle. It was Christmas time when I was doing the injections, and we went to my aunt's Christmas Eve party that year. While we were there, one of the guests and I got to talking-she had also experienced infertility and now had 2 kids, so we kinda bonded over that. She then proceeded to get drunk and predict that I would have a baby boy by the Christmas party the following year. I shrugged it off-infertility hurts, but it's not like I was going to take a drunk prediction seriously. Not only did she predict my baby, she also predicted that one of my cousins-who had no plans of having a child and was possibly getting ready to have a hysterectomy done-would also have a baby boy by the next Christmas party.
The cycle failed. I was not pregnant, and when faced with the choice of IVF-where a pregnancy may or may not happen-or adopting where we would eventually for sure get our baby, we chose adoption. I cried. Not because I am against adoption-I was adopted myself and am VERY pro-adoption. Just because I wanted my baby now, and because I would not experience pregnancy ever. I would omit be able to breastfeed, or holds newly born baby. Because we had just spent thousands of dollars and now we're going to spend tens of thousands of dollars trying to adopt. It was all so much to handle. My body was broken. That hurts no matter what.
By the following week I had researched all the adoption agencies trying to find the most affordable and deciding what kind of adoption we wanted to do and taking all the effort I had put into trying to conceive and fling myself headfirst into adoption. I was GOING to have a baby. I needed to have a baby. I needed to be a real mommy, not just a step mom. We actually wound up having a very interesting experience in the adoption realm, but alas, that is also a story for another time.
Hubby and I sent in our homestudy contract and check ($1500). Within a week it got sent back to us for insufficient stamps. So I added another stamp and sent it back out. Meanwhile I had been having tingly breasts for 4 weeks and instead of my period showing up, my breasts were killing me. I decided if I didn't have my period by Saturday I would use up a test. That Saturday i peed on and Internet cheapie and got an instant positive test. I isn't believe it so I dunked a first response into the cup-my first response was so positive that the test line was darker than the control line. I ran into our room at 5 30 am and woke my husband (who worked second shift back then) and told him I was pregnant. He definitely did not believe me. I don't think he actually believed me until we went to the gender scan.
To this day I cannot believe that I actually have a baby! My baby that was conceived by us, without fertility treatment. Of course all of those treatments were almost definitely still in my system. I know because the dating ultrasound showed I was 6 weeks pregnant when it had only been 6 weeks since I started the cycle. That means that I ovulated when I was supposed, not when I normally would have.
I remember reflecting on everything late one night after my daughter was born as I nursed her to sleep. Infertility was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure, but without a doubt it has made me a better mom, and if it had not been for my infertility battle, I would not have my daughter, and I wouldn't trade her for ANYTHING. You see, my daughter is the result of a very specific sperm meeting a very specific egg, and if I had conceived any earlier, it would not have been the RIGHT sperm and egg that met. And if I had not gone through infertility I might not have been able to FULLY appreciate what a blessing my daughter is. As things stand now-I am able to parent my daughter with confidence and trust my instincts. So many people have an opinion on what is the right way to parent a child, but I know my daughter best, and I have the confidence to trust my instincts when people give me well intentioned advice. Most importantly, I enjoy every minute with my daughter. From middle of the might wake ups to the dirty diaper to the precious cuddles, smiles and kisses, I love being Pumpkin's mommy. Mommy hood is worth fighting for! So often the reality doesn't live up to the dream, but in this-the reality is far better than the dream.
So if you are struggling with infertility, make yourself a promise that you will never ever give up. Promise yourself you WILL make it happen. Maybe you won't make it happen in the conventional way, but that doesn't make mommy hood any less great. As an adopted person myself, I can honestly say that my mom is the person who raised me. I am great ful to my birth mom for giving birth to me instead of aborting me, don't get me wrong. But my mom is the one who was there for me my whole life. Or perhaps one of the treatments that did not work for us will work for you. Or maybe you will get lucky as we did and conceive when you go to adopt. No matter how you get there, mommy hood is worth fighting for-so make your dream come true!!
It all really started for us about 3 and a half years ago. I was 22. My husband-or at the time my boyfriend-and I had just moved into our second apartment together with his daughter from his first marriage, my insurance at my new job had just kicked in, and we were ready to have an "ours" baby. It was all very exciting. Only one problem-my cycles have always been pretty screwed up. My shortest unmedicated cycle is 6 weeks long and haveing a 3 month cycle really isn't all that unusual for me. Before deciding to try for a baby, this was the best cycle ever-especially since I also have pretty light bleeding that ends fairly quickly. I absolutely loved my cycles as a teenager. But now that I actually needed my cycles to work properly it was aweful. We tried for a few cycles before I decided to see a doctor. Normally they say you should try at least a year "unless there is a reason to suspect" something is wrong, and I knew something was.
Since I only wanted to try and fix my cycles and wasn't asking for fertility treatments, my doctor was very willing to do some bloodwork on me the very day I went in. The first tests were to check my hormone levels. As it would turn out, my hormone levels were totally normal. Ironically, when you go through this process and you actually suspect something is wrong "normal" is the exact opposite of what you want to hear. If they don't know what is wrong, they can't treat it. At this point I was referred to an ob-gyn. My new ob-gyn got me in for a new patient visit and we discussed my issues and scheduled yet another appointment. This time I needed an ultrasound to check that the lining of my uterus was neither too thick or too thin and to make sure everything looked normal. Aside from my having a tilted uterus-which apparently has no effect on fertility-all was once again normal. Naturally I had to set another appointment just to go over the results of the ultrasound. Altogether, this much of the testing phase of infertility took around 4-6 months, so if you suspect something is wrong, I highly recommend getting the testing phase of things done ASAP.
Since we could find no explanation for why my cycles were crazy or for why I was not yet pregnant, my doctor ordered a semen analysis on my hubby and prescribed clomid for me to start after we verified my husband had good swimmers. This was very exciting because we were finally actually doing something that would give us a real chance every month. Unfortunately the first dose of clomid did not work. I was prescribed a medicine to induce my period and even that almost didn't work. Since my period was so reluctant to show I got referred straight to a fertility specialist. I think getting referred to a specialist was the first time I actually cried about my situation. I knew it was silly-who better to help us get pregnant than a guy who's entire job is getting couples pregnant? But getting referred to a specialist also made it very real-I REALLY a had a problem now. Something that is supposed to be so natural and easy and a birthright, and I had to go to a specialist to make it happen.
After I got my cry out and went to my specialist, I was excited. My specialist was very awesome. For the first time a doctor sat me down and really laid out the game plan in the long run, whereas everyone wlse just explained this step right now. I left from my initial consultation feeling a renewed sense of hope! My clomid prescrition for increased to 100 mg and it actually worked. I was finally ovulating in a normal timeframe! I just "knew" that this would be it for us. Unfortunately, we did not get pregnant on that cycle or the next. My fertility specialist decided to go ahead and order the HSG test.
An HSG test is where they use a vaginal catheter to inject a dye into your uterus to check that your Fallopian tubes are not blocked. One thing that I really liked about my doctor is he FIRST made sure I was ovulating before we did the test. Some doctors will do it at the beginning to get it over with, but I feel the other way-my doctor's way- is a better way. Why? Because a lot of people are able to get pregnant after the hsg. The dye they use has a side effect of really making sure your tubes are clean. If I had it done on a cycle where I did not ovulate that would be throwing away this bonus perk of a rather pricy fertility test! Why waste the perk?
I think of all the tests I went through, the HSG was the scariest test. All the other ones were very non invasive, and I while I have no fear of needles, I AM afraid of catheters. To add to it, my husband was not allowed to come back with me. They didn't want to expose anyone to radiation unnecessarily. The test actually was not as bad as I had thought it would be though. There was a moment of pain when the catheter needed to be adjusted and it just was not pleasant, but aside from that it was relatively pain free. Afterwards I was once again excited-my tubes were totally clear, and we were continuing clomid so I was going to ovulate. Surely the added fertility from the HSG would be enough. As fate would have it, it still was not meant to be.
It was around this time that my husband and I got married. Somehow, during this stage of my life everything and anything somehow related back to my fertility, so I thought for sure that maybe God just wanted me to get married and do things "right." Once we are married I thought for sure God would bless us with a baby. Eventually he did, but it was several months later.
Meanwhile hubby and I moved up in the world of fertility treatments to clomid with and IUI and timed intercourse. We did 3 cycles like this and still got nowhere. It was time for us to consider the more expensive treatment options. Clomid clearly was not working for us. The next step was a powerful drug called gonadotropins and withe hat we could either do just times intercourse or continue doing IUI's in addition. If those didn't work our options would be IVF or adoption.
We had a very serious talk and decided the best course for our family was to take a month off while we had our honeymoon (we had our honeymoon a couple months after the wedding) and come back to a cycle of follistim (there are 3 brands of gonadotropin and follistim is one of them) and an IUI with timed intercourse. If that didn't work, we decided that we could not keep throwing money fruitlessly at treatments. We also could not afford to do IVF THEN adoption-it would be one or the other.
We went on our honeymoon, came back and started our follistim cycle. It was Christmas time when I was doing the injections, and we went to my aunt's Christmas Eve party that year. While we were there, one of the guests and I got to talking-she had also experienced infertility and now had 2 kids, so we kinda bonded over that. She then proceeded to get drunk and predict that I would have a baby boy by the Christmas party the following year. I shrugged it off-infertility hurts, but it's not like I was going to take a drunk prediction seriously. Not only did she predict my baby, she also predicted that one of my cousins-who had no plans of having a child and was possibly getting ready to have a hysterectomy done-would also have a baby boy by the next Christmas party.
The cycle failed. I was not pregnant, and when faced with the choice of IVF-where a pregnancy may or may not happen-or adopting where we would eventually for sure get our baby, we chose adoption. I cried. Not because I am against adoption-I was adopted myself and am VERY pro-adoption. Just because I wanted my baby now, and because I would not experience pregnancy ever. I would omit be able to breastfeed, or holds newly born baby. Because we had just spent thousands of dollars and now we're going to spend tens of thousands of dollars trying to adopt. It was all so much to handle. My body was broken. That hurts no matter what.
By the following week I had researched all the adoption agencies trying to find the most affordable and deciding what kind of adoption we wanted to do and taking all the effort I had put into trying to conceive and fling myself headfirst into adoption. I was GOING to have a baby. I needed to have a baby. I needed to be a real mommy, not just a step mom. We actually wound up having a very interesting experience in the adoption realm, but alas, that is also a story for another time.
Hubby and I sent in our homestudy contract and check ($1500). Within a week it got sent back to us for insufficient stamps. So I added another stamp and sent it back out. Meanwhile I had been having tingly breasts for 4 weeks and instead of my period showing up, my breasts were killing me. I decided if I didn't have my period by Saturday I would use up a test. That Saturday i peed on and Internet cheapie and got an instant positive test. I isn't believe it so I dunked a first response into the cup-my first response was so positive that the test line was darker than the control line. I ran into our room at 5 30 am and woke my husband (who worked second shift back then) and told him I was pregnant. He definitely did not believe me. I don't think he actually believed me until we went to the gender scan.
To this day I cannot believe that I actually have a baby! My baby that was conceived by us, without fertility treatment. Of course all of those treatments were almost definitely still in my system. I know because the dating ultrasound showed I was 6 weeks pregnant when it had only been 6 weeks since I started the cycle. That means that I ovulated when I was supposed, not when I normally would have.
I remember reflecting on everything late one night after my daughter was born as I nursed her to sleep. Infertility was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure, but without a doubt it has made me a better mom, and if it had not been for my infertility battle, I would not have my daughter, and I wouldn't trade her for ANYTHING. You see, my daughter is the result of a very specific sperm meeting a very specific egg, and if I had conceived any earlier, it would not have been the RIGHT sperm and egg that met. And if I had not gone through infertility I might not have been able to FULLY appreciate what a blessing my daughter is. As things stand now-I am able to parent my daughter with confidence and trust my instincts. So many people have an opinion on what is the right way to parent a child, but I know my daughter best, and I have the confidence to trust my instincts when people give me well intentioned advice. Most importantly, I enjoy every minute with my daughter. From middle of the might wake ups to the dirty diaper to the precious cuddles, smiles and kisses, I love being Pumpkin's mommy. Mommy hood is worth fighting for! So often the reality doesn't live up to the dream, but in this-the reality is far better than the dream.
So if you are struggling with infertility, make yourself a promise that you will never ever give up. Promise yourself you WILL make it happen. Maybe you won't make it happen in the conventional way, but that doesn't make mommy hood any less great. As an adopted person myself, I can honestly say that my mom is the person who raised me. I am great ful to my birth mom for giving birth to me instead of aborting me, don't get me wrong. But my mom is the one who was there for me my whole life. Or perhaps one of the treatments that did not work for us will work for you. Or maybe you will get lucky as we did and conceive when you go to adopt. No matter how you get there, mommy hood is worth fighting for-so make your dream come true!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Working Full Time From Home with a Baby
It's hard to believe that it's already been a year since I came off my maternity leave to my work from home job, but here we are! This last year has definitely had some ups and downs, but it has also been the best year of my life! I never could have imagined the love and joy Pumpkin would bring to my life. That said, working 40 hours a week while caring for a baby definitely is not a walk in the park. It is definitely doable...but it takes some serious effort and time.
Every work from home mom will tell you something different, but here are the top tips to how we are able to make working from home with a baby work:
1. Working full time hours takes time. Lots and lots of time. In my experience a straight 8 hour day with a 30 minute lunch somewhere in there simply does not work with taking care of a baby. When I went back to work at 10 weeks it took me 12+ hours to work 9 hours. I wish I could say that things have improved since then but I am still pretty much working all day long (Pumpkin is almost 14 months old). I did briefly try working straight days but my productivity at work fell to beyond stressful levels, Pumpkin was having growing problems and I truly think part of it was my trying to feed her meals while I worked instead of sitting her down and feeding her a meal, and frankly Punpkin was all over me most of the day for attention. When she saw me going to the chair she would grab my leg and cry. It was just too long of a stretch for her.
2. Get used to not sleeping much. To this day I go off of less than 6 hours of sleep a night. To put it simply, my most productive time at work remains as the times during which Pumpkin is asleep. My day starts at 2:30 am.
3. Experiment with how many hours per day work best for you and be open to change. When Pumpkin was a little baby I liked to do 4-9 hr days and a 4 hr day. Adding the extra hour a day I barely even noticed the added work, yet on Fridays I definitely noticed the shortened day. It gave me the opportunity to really enjoy being a mommy to Pumpkin. Now that Pumpkin is older and awake more often and more interested in stuff I like to do 11 hours mon-wed (something like 2:30a to 1 hour after Pumpkin wakes up at 7:30 ish; from the time Pumpkin goes down for a nap to 1 hour after she wakes up; and then I finish up my hours starting 1 hour before hubby comes home until I hit 11 hours. All in all Pumpkin only has to entertain herself for 3 hours a day then she gets a lot of mommy time Thursday to Sunday.) and 7 hours Thursday. This enables us to do things like story time or other field trips on Thursday and Friday.
4. Invest in high quality toys and lots of variety. Toys can be a real life saver! I recommend a lot of different types-blocks to dolls to stuffed animals to electronic. We even have a few apps on my phone for her. Without good toys she would not entertain herself at all. Buy enough that you can rotate the toys around. When she gets tired of her toys, take them away and bring out the old toys. It will be just like if you got her a new toy as she explores them with her ever growing skills.
5. You are not a stay at home mom, but everyone will think you are. Since you are "home all day" a lot of people will think your life is a LOT different than it is. Some have even told me that I don't really need a maternity leave since I am already at home (clearly they have forgotten how much care a newborn requires). Others will wonder why doing xyz is such a big deal or not get why you are so stressed out. It's ok. They don't HAVE to get it. I tend to take the less confrontational route and just shrug it off. No matter what others may say, I know I am working 2 full time jobs simultaneously. That's an accomplishment!
6. You will work harder than you have ever worked in your life and not excel at anything. At work, my productivity is just enough to get by. As a parent my baby is fed, clean, and clothed. I do my best to throw in a few stories and a game or two, but some days-clean, fed and clothed is about all I manage to sneak in. My dogs have not been walked in over a year. I have not lost my post partum weight-I have no time to exercise or to cook decently. Mostly I grab whatever is fast and easy. When it's nice out I might manage a quick walk. Sometimes I have to send my step daughter to the bus stop on her own because all hell has broken loose or I really need to get my productivity at work up or Pumpkin is still asleep and if I wake her I will REALLY be screwed (as if my job isn't hard enough, let's make the baby cranky all day long). And the housework-I clean and the next day you would hardly be able to tell, but it will have to do until next week. If I were getting grades I would probably be getting straight c's. But straight c's are enough. The family is healthy, happy and mostly thriving.
7. Schedule some time for you. You need it. In the beginning days I insosted on a half an hour a night for my shower. Now I stay up an hour after I put Pumpkin to sleep. Do I need the sleep? Yeah, sure I do, but if I don't have at least some time to take a deep breath and relax...I don't know what would happen, but I know it wouldn't be good.
8. Be prepared for mental breakdowns. Even if you schedule "you" time, they are going to happen. I just recently had one. I cried for almost a whole day last week. That's the thing about working your but off for the absolute bare minimum results-you feel like you are just barely holding everything together, so when that one thread gets strained a little too far you REALLY feel the pressure. Talk to someone. There might be absolutely no good solution to the problem, but my friend I went to said this "even if you do nothing, know that (stepdaughter) and (daughter) will both grow to admire you." It may not have solved everything, but it helped me to breathe. I'm doing ok!
9. Get out of the house. A work out of the house mom gets out to commute to work. A stay at home mom has errands. A work at home mom is in a position where it would be sooo easy to just stay in. But the fresh air is good for both you and baby. So instead of becoming a prisoner I. Your own home, get out of the house. Find a local story time at the library, go out to eat, run to the bank or store. It doesn't matter what you do, just get yourself out there.
10. It DOES eventually get easier. I worked from home for about 2 years before I gave birth to Pumpkin and during that time I was caring for my 5 year old step daughter. Even in the summer that WAS a walk in the park. I hypothesize that it gets easier after potty training ;)
And that's how we survived our first year. It wasn't easy. I'm flat out exhausted, but it is totally 100% worth it everytime I see my baby girl smile, hear her laugh, or see her discover something new. if given a choice between working outside the home or working from home, working from home will
win hands down every time (likewise stay at home mom would beat work from home mom everytime but that's besides the point). With a lot of effort, time and commitment, anyone can make a work from home schedule work with a baby. Just hang in there and remember it will not be this hard forever.
Every work from home mom will tell you something different, but here are the top tips to how we are able to make working from home with a baby work:
1. Working full time hours takes time. Lots and lots of time. In my experience a straight 8 hour day with a 30 minute lunch somewhere in there simply does not work with taking care of a baby. When I went back to work at 10 weeks it took me 12+ hours to work 9 hours. I wish I could say that things have improved since then but I am still pretty much working all day long (Pumpkin is almost 14 months old). I did briefly try working straight days but my productivity at work fell to beyond stressful levels, Pumpkin was having growing problems and I truly think part of it was my trying to feed her meals while I worked instead of sitting her down and feeding her a meal, and frankly Punpkin was all over me most of the day for attention. When she saw me going to the chair she would grab my leg and cry. It was just too long of a stretch for her.
2. Get used to not sleeping much. To this day I go off of less than 6 hours of sleep a night. To put it simply, my most productive time at work remains as the times during which Pumpkin is asleep. My day starts at 2:30 am.
3. Experiment with how many hours per day work best for you and be open to change. When Pumpkin was a little baby I liked to do 4-9 hr days and a 4 hr day. Adding the extra hour a day I barely even noticed the added work, yet on Fridays I definitely noticed the shortened day. It gave me the opportunity to really enjoy being a mommy to Pumpkin. Now that Pumpkin is older and awake more often and more interested in stuff I like to do 11 hours mon-wed (something like 2:30a to 1 hour after Pumpkin wakes up at 7:30 ish; from the time Pumpkin goes down for a nap to 1 hour after she wakes up; and then I finish up my hours starting 1 hour before hubby comes home until I hit 11 hours. All in all Pumpkin only has to entertain herself for 3 hours a day then she gets a lot of mommy time Thursday to Sunday.) and 7 hours Thursday. This enables us to do things like story time or other field trips on Thursday and Friday.
4. Invest in high quality toys and lots of variety. Toys can be a real life saver! I recommend a lot of different types-blocks to dolls to stuffed animals to electronic. We even have a few apps on my phone for her. Without good toys she would not entertain herself at all. Buy enough that you can rotate the toys around. When she gets tired of her toys, take them away and bring out the old toys. It will be just like if you got her a new toy as she explores them with her ever growing skills.
5. You are not a stay at home mom, but everyone will think you are. Since you are "home all day" a lot of people will think your life is a LOT different than it is. Some have even told me that I don't really need a maternity leave since I am already at home (clearly they have forgotten how much care a newborn requires). Others will wonder why doing xyz is such a big deal or not get why you are so stressed out. It's ok. They don't HAVE to get it. I tend to take the less confrontational route and just shrug it off. No matter what others may say, I know I am working 2 full time jobs simultaneously. That's an accomplishment!
6. You will work harder than you have ever worked in your life and not excel at anything. At work, my productivity is just enough to get by. As a parent my baby is fed, clean, and clothed. I do my best to throw in a few stories and a game or two, but some days-clean, fed and clothed is about all I manage to sneak in. My dogs have not been walked in over a year. I have not lost my post partum weight-I have no time to exercise or to cook decently. Mostly I grab whatever is fast and easy. When it's nice out I might manage a quick walk. Sometimes I have to send my step daughter to the bus stop on her own because all hell has broken loose or I really need to get my productivity at work up or Pumpkin is still asleep and if I wake her I will REALLY be screwed (as if my job isn't hard enough, let's make the baby cranky all day long). And the housework-I clean and the next day you would hardly be able to tell, but it will have to do until next week. If I were getting grades I would probably be getting straight c's. But straight c's are enough. The family is healthy, happy and mostly thriving.
7. Schedule some time for you. You need it. In the beginning days I insosted on a half an hour a night for my shower. Now I stay up an hour after I put Pumpkin to sleep. Do I need the sleep? Yeah, sure I do, but if I don't have at least some time to take a deep breath and relax...I don't know what would happen, but I know it wouldn't be good.
8. Be prepared for mental breakdowns. Even if you schedule "you" time, they are going to happen. I just recently had one. I cried for almost a whole day last week. That's the thing about working your but off for the absolute bare minimum results-you feel like you are just barely holding everything together, so when that one thread gets strained a little too far you REALLY feel the pressure. Talk to someone. There might be absolutely no good solution to the problem, but my friend I went to said this "even if you do nothing, know that (stepdaughter) and (daughter) will both grow to admire you." It may not have solved everything, but it helped me to breathe. I'm doing ok!
9. Get out of the house. A work out of the house mom gets out to commute to work. A stay at home mom has errands. A work at home mom is in a position where it would be sooo easy to just stay in. But the fresh air is good for both you and baby. So instead of becoming a prisoner I. Your own home, get out of the house. Find a local story time at the library, go out to eat, run to the bank or store. It doesn't matter what you do, just get yourself out there.
10. It DOES eventually get easier. I worked from home for about 2 years before I gave birth to Pumpkin and during that time I was caring for my 5 year old step daughter. Even in the summer that WAS a walk in the park. I hypothesize that it gets easier after potty training ;)
And that's how we survived our first year. It wasn't easy. I'm flat out exhausted, but it is totally 100% worth it everytime I see my baby girl smile, hear her laugh, or see her discover something new. if given a choice between working outside the home or working from home, working from home will
win hands down every time (likewise stay at home mom would beat work from home mom everytime but that's besides the point). With a lot of effort, time and commitment, anyone can make a work from home schedule work with a baby. Just hang in there and remember it will not be this hard forever.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
The Difference One Year Makes
Well, we made it through our first year! My little Pumpkin is already 13 months old and wow has she grown-and so have I. It's hard to believe that just over a year ago I was eagerly doing jumping jacks trying to persuade my body to go into labor already (btw-it didn't work. I ended up getting induced). Looking back, that me seems like an entirely different person! This last year has been by far the best year of my life-mommy hood is everything I dreamt and more. From the infinite cuddles to the late nights to the diaper changes, I love being Pumpkin's mommy.
This last year has also been a year of enormous growth for both Pumpkin and myself though. I look back on how I used to think, and what factors influenced my decision making and it is like I'm looking back on a whole different version of myself. Over the past year I've had to learn to juggle a full time, work-from-home job, being a new mom, being a wife, a stepmom, a dog owner, and the housework. It has definitely been an adventure. And while I am making it work, I definitely still have a long way to grow. Likewise, when I look at my daughter's newborn pictures she looks completely different, and nothing I could ever do would be able to convince her to spend an entire day in my lap (I'm so glad now that I took advantage of all that time while it lasted). Now she is up, running around, laughing and getting into EVERYTHING she can find as she explores the world, and I know her journey is truly just beginning. In a weird way, I think that she helps me grow and learn just as much as I help her. Everyday both of us grow up together, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
This last year has also been a year of enormous growth for both Pumpkin and myself though. I look back on how I used to think, and what factors influenced my decision making and it is like I'm looking back on a whole different version of myself. Over the past year I've had to learn to juggle a full time, work-from-home job, being a new mom, being a wife, a stepmom, a dog owner, and the housework. It has definitely been an adventure. And while I am making it work, I definitely still have a long way to grow. Likewise, when I look at my daughter's newborn pictures she looks completely different, and nothing I could ever do would be able to convince her to spend an entire day in my lap (I'm so glad now that I took advantage of all that time while it lasted). Now she is up, running around, laughing and getting into EVERYTHING she can find as she explores the world, and I know her journey is truly just beginning. In a weird way, I think that she helps me grow and learn just as much as I help her. Everyday both of us grow up together, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
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