There is no doubt about it, my husband and I have two very different parenting styles. I love baby (and now toddler) wearing, I experimented with making my own baby food, I jumped to her every cry and picked her up whenever she indicated she wanted up, rocked her to sleep, and I teach her baby sign language. I am a lot more concerned about trying to be a great parent and can get totally wrapped up in parenting. My husband always waited till he finished what he was doing to see why Pumpkin was crying, said he would never baby wear when she could just learn to be carried in the infant car seat, thought everyone would be better off if the bed time routine was simply putting her down in her crib, advocates for sleep training, and thought baby sign language was stupid. He is much more laid back than I am and way more creative at playing with Pumpkin than I am. So how did we survive parenting our daughter together for 15 months and counting? I'll admit it is not always easy, but it is definitely worth the effort.
I have always felt that a husband and wife are a team, and parenting is no different. Each of us have our own strengths and weaknesses, but together we can cover each other's faults and create an even better home than either of us could accomplish individually. Yes, we do things differently, but because we do things differently we can create a balance. Not only do we create a balance, but when one of us is out of ideas, the other is sure to have a new angle to attack the problem and eventually a solution is found that works for our family. Even though he hasn't always agreed with me in the beginning, eventually my bus and grew to see that some of my ideas aren't so bad after all! For example, he eventually ended up wearing Pumpkin-even as a toddler-and now works with me teaching her sign language. He saw that those things that I do really work, and are beneficial.
I have learned countless ways to play with Pumpkin from my husband. I've also learned to lighten up and not kill myself trying to be a perfect parent. Sugary cereals are ok sometimes when I'm trying to get work done and don't have time to make her anything else, I don't need to be her personal entertainment 24 hours a day, and actually it isn't good for her to have me entertain her constantly. Punpkin needs time to explore on her own and spread her wings. He reminds me that it is ok to take time away from Pumpkin for us to spend time as a couple (grandmas make great babysitters).
Naturally, we don't always "see the light" in each other's methods. That's ok too. Actually, it makes perfect sense that we would each have our own ways of interacting with Pumpkin-if kids weren't supposed to have a mom and a dad then nature would not have designed it that way. But as it is, it takes two people to make a baby, and children benefit from having two parents to raise them. On those things where we do not agree, we usually just do things out own way when we are taking care of Pumpkin-if I prefer desitin at diaper changes and hubby prefers talcum powder, Pumpkin will survive. If it is a bigger issue that cannot be solved by us simply respecting that the other does things differently, then perhaps we can meet somewhere in the middle.
When we disagree, it is because we both have different opinions of what is best for Pumpkin or the family. It is not because one of us wants what's best for her and the other wants to sabotage her-after all she is both of our child and we both love her! However, babies don't come with manuals, and there are many different lines of thought on what is the right way to raise a child, and to be honest, I doubt there is any one right way. Since no two kids are the same, what works for one kid or one family may not work for the other. If both parents work together, though, I truly think they can find the right way to raise their own child.
